


Star Memory

by MegaMaz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaMaz/pseuds/MegaMaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has thoughts while watching the night sky on the hood of the car.</p><p>Mid-Season 7, somewhere, sometime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star Memory

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this almost a year ago in the middle of the night. I don't why I wrote it, I just know I was feeling the urge to write while sleepy and this was the result. Not beta read so all mistakes are mine. I'm pretty sure the tenses are weird. So. Enjoy?

On one of those nights where Dean couldn't sleep he slipped outside of whatever motel room they were staying in. Sam was dead asleep, or so Dean hoped. He didn't want his little brother waking up. Not for this random bout of insomnia and restlessness.

But this particular night was restless and cold and not even the sound of Sam’s steady breathing could have lulled Dean to rest. The eldest Winchester couldn't close his eyes, couldn't blink the thoughts in his head away.

He closed the door silently and made his way to the latest picked up car. He missed his baby and these sleepless nights weren't the same without her but Dean climbed up on the hood anyways. He lay back and just…well he just laid there.

The metal was cool, a biting cold that pierced his clothes. If he had been anywhere near asleep it would have woken him up.

As it stood Dean was already wide awake and staring at the stars. His thoughts held no direction and for once he just let whatever was in his head surface. Hell and Castiel and Sam and Bobby and Mom and Dad. Fire and Heaven. God and godlessness. Purgatory and Leviathans. Lucifer and Michael and Death and Cages.

The differences between pie and cake and how the hell his brother could think one could replace the other.

A ghost of a smile crossed Dean’s face. In between the pits of darkness in his soul little spots of light shown through in the form of little moments that he could barely remember but were there all the same. 

Catching Sam watching porn. Cas accidentally watching porn. Bobby’s exasperation. Sam and Cas smiling. Gluing Sam’s laptop shut. Taking Cas to a den of iniquity. Playing catch with his father. Mom’s apple pie. Dad’s carefree smile. Sam’s fear of clowns. High school and janitors closets. Purple Nurples-

“Dean.”

Dean wasn't surprised that Sam would interrupt him while thinking about janitor closets and Purple Nurples. It just figured. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

He doesn't bother to get up but he does turn his head to look at Sam.

His little brother was standing close by and Dean could hit himself for letting his guard down like that but it’s Sam so he can’t be too surprised.

Freakin’ giant could move like a cat when he wanted.

Sam was looking at him with a frown with sleep still apparent around his eyes. “Didn't hear you sleeping so I woke up, I guess.”

He broke out into a yawn and Dean was struck by how young Sam looked. They haven’t been ‘young’ in a long time, but right then, in pajama pants and a spare baggy t-shirt and rubbing sleep from his face, Sam looked young.

But Sam’s almost thirty and thirty-three shouldn't feel so damned ancient but it does and the juxtaposition of age and experience made Dean feel weird. Old. Used and stretched far too thin for the little time they've had on earth. 

“Go back to sleep, Sammy,” Dean told him. He knew his brother wouldn't do it the second he said it but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. 

“It's 'Sam',” Sam replied with a sleepy 'you jerk’ expression on his face. Dean smothers a grin. His little brother walked around the car and slid next to Dean like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Maybe it was.

It’s quiet. It always has been when they did this, sitting on the hood of the car and just looking at the wide open sky, not saying another word.

Dean is left with his random thoughts of black blood and sulfur and pie but then Sam moved and curled onto his side right next to him. Sam’s breathing settled and despite the chill of the night, something in Dean warmed. He looked at the stars, each speck of light a reminder of the little things and he attached the memory of Sam by his side on the hood of a random car in a nameless motel lot to the one next to Sam’s birth, right above Mom’s apple pie and Dad’s smiling face.


End file.
